SkyMall...The Ultimate Adventure

Ah SkyMall, the beacon of American Consumer Capitalism at it's finest! Where else can you find the world's largest crossword puzzle and a GPS tracking system for your dog in the same place? On a recent business trip, giggling to myself while I pored over this little gem, I pondered if their copywriters were:

A: Drunk
B: Having WAY too much fun
C: Previous mental patients
D: All of the Above

If you were the poor soul sitting behind me and "J", our director of sales, your probably heard something like this:

"Oh my goodness, I have always needed an upside down tomato garden!"

"We really should get this two-foot garden yeti for the office lawn...

"Look, a little vest for your dog with "cooling action" so he doesn't get too hot! so perfect for the beach..."

"Remember the gazing ball from your parents front lawn... um no, what the hell is a gazing ball?" "Is this a southern thing J?" "Yes."

"Hey, this one is really quite good. A dog crate that looks like a really nice coffee table!"

"I so need these... clip-on shoes to aerate your lawn while you walk." J: "I'll raise you one. They should make those for the dog!"... Queue hysterical laughter and strange looks from boss seated across the aisle.

On your next flight, pick up a copy and discover all the items you never knew you needed, and probably don't. Like Slankets. Although I do want one of those.