Weekend in Nerdland

iPhone 3G launch last Friday! I don't need Miss Cleo's crystal ball or even a glance at Google Trends today to know that the iPhone was a top search item Friday. Fanboy mania...lines, download issues, and dominant stories on all the standard issue tech blogs for days.

I don't have an iPhone, and neither does my husband, although I think they are tan-fastic. We are Verizon customers (don't get me started), and we are not ready to change networks. Also, we live in cowville (ie Mid-Market USA), which means that 3G does not apply to us yet. Which also may explain why he has such a hard time recruiting for all those UMTS positions at AT&T and can only find qualified Europeans to work on 3G.

Still, the iPhone craze affected us, as my husband spent the better part of Saturday morning downloading all the new software for his iPod Touch. Upon completing, he literally made me sit down to tour all the new programs (Twitteriffic, yay!), including virtual beer. He was, understandably, highly distracted at dinner that night. There was a new, improved toy at the table!!! Much awesomeness!!!

I avoided the interwebs Sunday but continued to sift through more blog posts Monday, dissecting what Apple did wrong. Why another product launch with the same issues? Will their fan base continue to put up with this clear lack of attention to detail?

J and I are not even the Apple fan base in the truest sense. Yet I spent the better part of a weekend in Nerdland, reading blogs, watching iPhone shows, and of course sitting down to watch "virtual beer." The launch could have gone smoother, but when it comes to total product devotion, I think Apple is on to something. Why else do they call it the Jesus Phone?

Clinique and Macys... UR Doin' It Wrong

At the end of a long day at work last week, I stopped near a mall to pick up some dinner. I had time to kill before it was ready. He needed his facial soap. I bravely told him I would kill two birds with one stone and stop by the Clinque counter on my way to pick up dinner.

I HATE malls. Anyone who knows me knows I am a rabid online shopper, and will purchase things most people buy in stores online. Lipstick, clothes, shoes, perfume? I'll buy it online...anything to avoid mall crowds and the dreaded sales assistant. In my opinion, shopping, particularly for luxury items, should be a pleasant, uplifting experience. Why then is it the business model of most cosmetics counters to make you feel bad about yourself so you purchase more? Unfortunately, this encounter was to be no different.

I approach the counter, swing past the Sales Assistant's saying "No thanks, I don't need help," grab the soap from the open display and head to the counter to pay. Times are tough, and the sales assistants start pushing. I am told if I purchase something else, I will get some free goodies. "Thanks, but, I don't really need anything, else" I asserted.

"Well, have you seen this product?" It removes all blotchiness, redness, acne spots and freckles and would be perfect for you. You just apply under sunscreen and moisturizer," said the sales assistant. "You really need sunscreen." The aforementioned sales assistant has the permanently-surprised expression of the recently Botoxed and is wearing two shades of lipstick, contrasting lip liner, and three shades of eye shadow.

Did the crazy-eye lady just indirectly tell me I have blotchy, red, freakishly pale skin? OK, I do live under florescent lights. But all I wanted to buy was some soap. It's not exactly as though I was having a high self-esteem moment before this happened. However, as I politely said no thank you and left the store with my purchase, I became irritated at the experience, to say the very least.

Clinique (and large retail outlets everywhere) take note: you are doing your customers a disservice by trying to push products in this insulting fashion. Consumers today are more educated, savvy and service-oriented then ever before. Even if it sells one more product that day, I doubt this way of doing business is helping you in the long-run. I do know that should I need a "lightening skin product" in the future, after this experience I won't be purchasing it from Clinique.

Retail outlets- How are you training your sales assistants? Do you try and make every shopping experience a pleasant one for the customer? Product recommendations can be done MUCH more tactfully and less desperately than by insulting the customer. Something along the lines of "Have you heard about our newest product?" might have been a nicer intro.

One thing I do know is this: the next time I pick up my husbands soap, I am going to Nordstrom. Their sales assistants never tell me my skin is bad and always give me free goodies, no matter what. Perhaps the other department stores could learn a thing or two from this business model.

SkyMall...The Ultimate Adventure

Ah SkyMall, the beacon of American Consumer Capitalism at it's finest! Where else can you find the world's largest crossword puzzle and a GPS tracking system for your dog in the same place? On a recent business trip, giggling to myself while I pored over this little gem, I pondered if their copywriters were:

A: Drunk
B: Having WAY too much fun
C: Previous mental patients
D: All of the Above

If you were the poor soul sitting behind me and "J", our director of sales, your probably heard something like this:

"Oh my goodness, I have always needed an upside down tomato garden!"

"We really should get this two-foot garden yeti for the office lawn...

"Look, a little vest for your dog with "cooling action" so he doesn't get too hot! so perfect for the beach..."

"Remember the gazing ball from your parents front lawn... um no, what the hell is a gazing ball?" "Is this a southern thing J?" "Yes."

"Hey, this one is really quite good. A dog crate that looks like a really nice coffee table!"

"I so need these... clip-on shoes to aerate your lawn while you walk." J: "I'll raise you one. They should make those for the dog!"... Queue hysterical laughter and strange looks from boss seated across the aisle.

On your next flight, pick up a copy and discover all the items you never knew you needed, and probably don't. Like Slankets. Although I do want one of those.

Hilarious & Controversial New PSA "Sex and the Kitty"

Using the popularity of the new Sex and the City movie as a launch pad for a new public service campaign entitled "Sex and the Kitty", PETA created the following PSA to promote the spaying and neutering of house cats.

Unfortunately, the cats shown in the video below get so, well "frisky" that most networks, including MTV, (hello: pot, kettle, black!) have pulled the spot. One brave network in Seattle, KSTW-TV, is apparently still airing the clip at this date.


"The women of 'Sex and the City' have nothing on our kitties," said PETA VP Daphna Nachminovitch in a statement. "When you consider the millions of unwanted cats and dogs born each year, it's clear that the purrfect solution is spaying and neutering companion animals."

Well, this certainly gets that message across. Although as a cat owner and lover, I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit. :)

This Takes "Personal Branding" a Bit Too Far...

Yet another wonderful and mildly terrifying product launch to be filed into the category of "only in America." Not only the land of the free and brave, but most importantly (judging by my mailbox), the land of stuff!

Featured in this week's Williams Sonoma emailer as the ideal Fathers Day gift (for the Dad that has everything) I find this Monogrammed Steak Brand a little creepy. Who really wants to cut into a big juicy piece of chicken or steak emblazoned with someones name or initials? Um, not for me, thanks! I'll have the salad.

Dad, if this happens to be your dream Father's Day gift, I hate to be a spoiler, but you will have to look elsewhere. I think this takes the whole concept of "Building Your Personal Brand" to hilarious new level.

However, if you are so inclined to purchase one, they are also available at RedEnvelope.

The Internets Are Watching

Last week on Twitter, a prolific user tweeted their social security number in a completely nonchalant way. "My Social Security number: 555-55-5555." You get the drift. I would go back and find the post and poster to give this person props if Twitter had better search archive functionality, but I can't. Twitter, are you listening?

Whether or not it was their real social security number, I do not know. However, I almost fell out of my chair from the sheer genius of it. Twitterville is (currently) a trusting and open community, with people posting often intimate details of their daily lives. Was this person testing the waters to see what the implications of tweeting their social would be? Were they making a commentary about how our personal information really is available for anyone to find? Were they being snarky? Perhaps a combination of all of these things.

Lately there has been talk by some major bloggers (Tamar Weinberg and Danny Sullivan in particular) about the transparency of social networks such as Twitter and FriendFeed and the implications for daily life. Some of the blog posts were concerned with the implications for the safety of their children, and rightfully so. Someone can easily "know" Mommy or Daddy very well online and be a complete stranger. FriendFeed is very useful, yet it also allows everyone to see exactly what you are doing on the net. Let's call it "FriendSpy" if you will.

I think the trust and community we place in our social networks allows us to sleep at night. They are cyber-neighborhoods. However, by putting our lives on display for public consumption, we are essentially enabling stalking on a global scale, are we not? As a non-celebrity, I don't let this worry me. Stalkers are more likely to find you in person. :) If I had children, I am sure I would be more concerned. Plus, if someone wants to see what I am bookmarking, I am OK with that because I try not to go overboard with it.

Telecommunication providers keep all phone and internet records on everyone for a minimum of two years. In many states, public documents that include your social security number and home address are readily available online in public databases. Once indexed by search engines, every blog post, website, picture, Facebook entry, etc., can be dug up after it's deleted by anyone who really knows how to find these items. I am not trying to fear monger. This is the reality of the internet and public communication today. We need to get used to it, and next generation needs to understand the possible repercussions of posting all their crazy antics. If a thief wants your social security number, they will get it, whether you tweet it or not. It is much better to open your eyes, realize that everything you do today is on display, and act with full intention.

Frankly, I am mostly glad that the antics of my college days came before digital cameras and Facebook. Someone would have to search hard for silly photos of me, in actual albums. Political campaigns are going to get a lot more interesting when Gen Y starts running for office and everyone's dirt is public domain.

Only in America... Tanning Beds for Your Pet

Live in a cold, cloudy climate? Is Fluffy or Spot suffering Seasonal Affective Disorder along with the rest of the household? Either this new product is a sign of the pending Zombie Apocalypse or Genuis Marketing, or both. It is getting tons of attention on the interwebs... Gizmodo, Buzzfeed, and Trendhunter all have the scoop. Behold the SunSpa Tanning Bed, meant to simulate a relaxing nap in the sunshine for your cat (or dog, okay I'm partial). Officially launching at the Pet Industry Spring Trade Show May 16-18 in Baltimore, it is available for pre-order at the show... Run, don't walk folks!